"I crush her against me. I want to be part of her. Not just inside her but all around her. I want our rib cages to crack open and our hearts to migrate and merge. I want our cells to braid together like living thread."
"When she was unhappy she would lock herself in the bedroom until she felt better. ‘It’s none of your business,’ she told him. ‘I don’t want anybody to see me when I’m like that. He used to call her a clam. ‘Open up,’ he hammered on all the locked doors of their life together, basement first, then maisonette, then mansion. ‘I love you, let me in.’ He needed her so badly, to reassure himself of his own existence, that he never comprehended the desperation in her dazzling, permanent smile, the terror in the brightness with which she faced the world, or the reasons why she hid when she couldn’t manage to beam."
I say that I “hate people” but really I’m just too lazy to say “My social anxiety makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and awkward around other people therefore I find it difficult to socialize with them.”
I say that I “hate life”, but really, I’m just too lazy to say “The challenges that I am currently facing, combined with my fears about the future are bringing me down, therefore I find it difficult to motivate myself.”